In today’s post, we explore the benefits of using positive language around under-fives. All too often, it’s tempting to say ‘No!’, ‘Stop that!’ or even ‘Don’t Eat That!’ and similar around little ones. This is particularly true when you want them to cease the offending activity urgently or are simply exhausted if it’s been a challenging day. There are good reasons for such negative commands, of course, not least that of their safety in many cases. However, such commands can sound stern and cause stress for the little ones. What’s more, if a child hears too much negative language and cannot understand why they’re not allowed to do a particular thing, problems can begin to arise and, indeed, the issue can become insidious. It may even result in worsening behaviour. Let’s explore, therefore, the issues around negative language and the simple solution that’s available in the form of positive language.
What’s Wrong With Saying No?
There’s nothing wrong, per se, with telling your child not to do something. More often than not, such a ‘negative’ command is given from the need to protect a child — it’s for their own good. The issue is more about how you say it (we’ll come back to that later).
There’s nothing wrong, per se, with telling your child not to do something. It’s more about how you phrase it.
Once babies have become toddlers, they start to explore their surroundings and want to be into everything. It’s all such an adventure for them! However, while it’s fun for them, it’s our job as parents to protect them, and their peers, from harm. When setting boundaries our maturity and experience tells us when things are dangerous. Toddlers just haven’t got that sense of potential danger, though. They therefore may not understand that we are saying ‘no’ or ‘don’t do that’ for their own good.
Sometimes, though, constantly hearing ‘no’ can spark tantrums, particularly if a child doesn’t understand the reason they are not allowed to do something. They can feel particularly frustrated when they receive a succession of negative commands and, in the end, may feel they simply can’t do anything right. This can lead not only to stress for them, but also to possible low self-esteem. Furthermore, if they hear ‘no’ and other negative language too often, they can begin to ‘tune out’ to it. They could then go on to develop challenging behaviour due to this, their confusion and frustration. Stress levels can then rise for the parent too, the infant can pick up on this and it can become a real vicious circle. It doesn’t have to be that way, though …
What to Do Instead – Using Positive Language
The best way to counter a negative result from negative language is to try to use positive phrasing (we’ll come to some examples shortly). The words we choose can significantly influence our children’s behaviour and achievements. So, by changing our tone and choice of words, we can show toddlers an alternative action to what they originally intended to do — all achieved in a positive way.
Positive, encouraging words help children to feel happier about situations. Also, by the child choosing a more positive action, it can make them feel empowered. When they follow positive words and requests, it will bring about a sense of achievement for the child. Suddenly, from their perspective, they chose the ‘right’ course of action rather than coming away feeling that they did something wrong. Gradually, the whole environment at home can become calmer and more positive too. What a contrast this is to the negative alternative!
Examples:
 Stop shouting! |  Please use a much softer voice. |
| Don’t hit people! | Please use gentle hands, so your don’t hurt someone. |
| Do not take his toy! | Let’s find another toy to play with until your friend has finished playing with it. There are plenty to choose from. |
| No, you cannot have a treat! | Please eat your dinner. If you eat enough of your proper food, you can have a treat afterwards. |
| Stop running! | Please stop running otherwise you may bump into something or hurt yourself. Let’s walk together and we’ll get there safely. |
| Don’t throw that ball in the house! | Shall we take the ball into the garden to play? It’s much safer as things won’t get broken outside. |
Remember to praise them when they have followed your suggestion and made the right choice.
Tips:
- Be clear, with simple explanations.
- Provide alternative options — explain what they can do instead of what they can’t.
- Let them know what behaviour you want to see from them.
- Sometimes use a “yes you can, but later” approach.
- Praise them when you see them choose the better alternative.
Before long, your child will catch on and both parent and child will be be more at ease and each will be happy with the results. Indeed, our childcare professionals at Little Cedars Nursery often use this kind of approach — and it works!
High Quality Childcare in our Streatham Nursery & Pre-School
Give your child the best start in life with childcare from Little Cedars Nursery, Streatham
Little Cedars offers under-fives a first class early years education in a safe, homely and nurturing environment. We are an excellent nursery and pre-school in Streatham supplying a first class childcare service to families near Streatham Hill, Streatham Park, Streatham Common and Furzedown as well as Tooting, Tooting Bec, Tooting Broadway, Tooting Common, Balham, Norbury and Colliers Wood.
Please let us know if you’d like to register your baby, toddler or preschooler for a place at the nursery/pre-school. We can show you and your child around, confirm fees, answer any questions and clarify any Government childcare funding options. We’re here to help, so please get in touch:
Today’s post will appeal to families who are finding the current financial climate particularly challenging. With energy costs and inflation so high, the following may represent a welcome piece of good news. Today we highlight the many Baby Banks that are popping up all around the UK and explain how they can help struggling families, all for free.
A Baby bank is a similar concept to a food bank. However, instead of food and drink, it provides second-hand clothing, toys and equipment for babies, under-fives and often even for children up to the age of 16 in some cases. Baby Banks can also be compared to a charity shop, however, with baby banks, everything is free.
Baby Banks are run by all sorts of different people and organisations and therefore the rules around actually getting ones hands on the free items vary from Baby Bank to Baby Bank. Some accept requests for items directly from families themselves. Others only deal via a referral from some kind of professional. Examples include social workers, family support agencies, teachers, family centres, health visitors, medical professionals, food banks and women’s refuges. So, once you have located your nearest Baby Bank, you will need to check whether they will deal with you directly or only through such a referral. Either way, you will usually need to agree a time and date for collection of your item with the Baby Bank (you can’t usually just turn up, although there are exceptions). Not all Baby Banks are open all week and that’s another reason to check with Baby Banks or their websites first.
Absolutely! Baby Banks rely on the generous donations from families that no long require their baby clothes or equipment. Perhaps the child has grown out of them and the items are still in good condition, or perhaps they were an unwanted gift. Donating items is also a great way to declutter and to make space in the home, as well as helping others. However, before donating to a Baby Bank, always check with them to see if all your proposed items are required and, as before, ensure you know whether an appointment is needed or whether you can just turn up with your items. Certain rules may also apply around the condition and type of items (this varies depending upon which Baby Bank you are dealing with). Baby car seats and electronic items may also have special rules due to the extra safety considerations.
A childcare nursery should not be thought of only as a crèche, playgroup, or simply somewhere that looks after babies and children while parents go to work. Good nurseries and pre-schools like Little Cedars are so much more than that. It’s incredible just how much they benefit under-fives, families and society as a whole once you take a closer look at everything they do — and that’s exactly what we’re doing today…
What’s more, staff at childcare settings like Little Cedars will form close bonds with little ones. Studies show that 
Good Ofsted-registered nurseries/pre-schools like Little Cedars also give under-fives a full early years education. That’s important to know. Through a learning and development programme that’s customised to each individual child, we ensure they achieve their own personal bests in all areas of the statutory 
Part of children’s personal, social and emotional development comes through active play with other children that they meet and get to know at the nursery. This is firstly great fun, of course, and that’s a hugely important part of any happy childhood. However, they’ll also learn many things through play. Without socialising with others, it would be more difficult to improve social skills, for example. Only by being around other children will they learn to account for the feelings of others, learn to respect one another and ultimately form close bonds, trust and friendships. Many such friendships will indeed continue long afterwards, as children move to schools at the age of five.
Another key aim of good early years childcare provision is to prepare children thoroughly for school. Why? Because 
It’s almost as if children are super-charged for success — the benefits of a good early years education are surprisingly long lasting. Some studies even show that the benefits last into people’s working lives, improving salaries (
Working so closely with babies, toddlers and preschoolers allows us to continually monitor their individual progress. In so doing, we are in a prime position to spot any issues early and to make appropriate arrangements to mitigate them if needed. For example, we may spot that a child is finding reading challenging. If so, we can put extra effort and time into improving the situation for the child. On occasion, that may even include talking to parents about the possible intervention of a specialist of some kind, or it could simply be that they need to practise specific activities to overcome the issue. The earlier challenges or any special educational or developmental needs are spotted, the sooner the child in question can be helped.
Sooner or later, many parents will consider the possible benefits of pets and whether their child should grow up with one. Mostly, the answer is positive because growing up with a pet can benefit children in many important ways — and really enrich their lives. However, looking after animals is a huge responsibility, not least to the animal itself, so should never be taken on lightly. Today we explore the topic and also outline a couple of animal-related initiatives that we have undertaken at 
On a simple level, pets are incredibly cute and great fun to be around. As such, most children are naturally drawn to them.
Familiarity with animals and closeness to pets also teaches children respect for other individuals (whether human or non-human), including recognition of the consequences of their actions towards them. It shows them how to care for others too. It can also teach them patience (e.g. when training) and even some of the harder lessons about life cycles.
Introducing animals like dogs and cats to the household is quite a life-changing thing. After all, they are the kinds of animals that pretty much become one of the family and, as such, require significant time, care and attention for their own wellbeing. They also often live freely within the house and require access to the garden and, for dogs, regular walks outdoors. They are quite an undertaking, so the decision to introduce one needs careful and thorough consideration. Many animals form deep, lifelong bonds and you will become their family just as much as they become yours. So, that lifelong commitment is an important one — they are absolutely not unfeeling objects to be treated like just a toy.
Pets like hamsters, rabbits, budgies and guinea pigs require less space in the household, of course. Indeed, some types of pets can be housed outdoors in suitable hutches. They’re also small enough to be temporarily moved elsewhere, for example to a friend or neighbour when you go on holiday. However, despite them being small, they too have their own needs and wants, including your care and regular attention. Giving them this, however, will be rewarded and children who spend significant time with any pet will soon begin to pick up on each one’s distinct personality and any likes or dislikes. Treat them well and pets will become trusting and friendly. Dogs, in particular, are incredibly loyal when treated well.
Just like humans, animals need care, proper food, fresh water, friendship, comfort and stimulation. If they don’t get these essentials, they may lead miserable and potentially even foreshortened lives. So, before a family takes on a pet, it’s best to thoroughly research the particular type of animal and exactly what they will require, from food, nutrition and bedding to stimulation (games, exercise etc.), contact with others and medical needs. Families should find out about all these things before taking an animal on. For some types of animal, for example dogs, even the breed and background is important. That’s for the wellbeing of both the pet and the family itself. Remember too that some animals will need training, for example toilet training in the case of cats, dogs and perhaps even ‘house’ rabbits. Some dogs may also require behaviour training. Everything needs factoring in beforehand including things like who will look after the pets while adults are at work, what happens when you go on holiday, who will exercise the dog, clean out the rabbit hutch regularly, feed the rabbit or clean the budgie cage.
At Little Cedars Nursery in Streatham, we believe that children will learn a huge amount through contact with animals. For this reason, we have our own chickens and rabbits at the setting — and the children adore them! Our rabbits are named Miffy and Bella and indeed naming them naturally encourages children to treat them like individuals rather than something to play with.
We are also raising some new chickens from fertilised eggs that we currently have in an incubator. We’ll teach children all about the life cycle of chickens with these. Once they hatch, children are sure to love the adorable little chicks that will emerge and they’ll be able to watch them grow up from fluffy chicks to adult chickens. When old enough, the chickens will join our existing, fully-grown chickens that we keep for the children in our animal enclosure outside.
We also have a caterpillar/butterfly enclosure indoors at the setting. Through this, children can follow the incredible life cycle of butterflies, starting off as tiny eggs, hatching into caterpillars, building cocoons and eventually emerging as incredibly beautiful butterflies. This is an amazing metamorphosis for children to witness and teaches them so much about the wonder of the natural world as well as the individual needs of some of its creatures.
In a follow-up to last month’s post about 
Reading with children, well ahead of them beginning school, has also been shown to boost their language skills, incredibly by the equivalent of as much as 8 months before they’re even five! The key is to read with them; not just to them. Learn more about 
Listen to any reservations your child may have about the prospect of starting school. Listening is important, so be on the look-out for any concerns and reservations they may have.
Children will greatly benefit in Reception Year at school if they’re already independent when they start. So, nurturing aspects of their independence well ahead of them beginning school is a good policy. For example, ensuring they know how to independently look after personal hygiene, dress themselves, tie shoe laces, dress, use the toilet, pack their bag and so on. If they can do this before they start school, it will help them enormously.
Parents/guardians will also be wise to identify one or more of their children’s friends (or potential friends) that will also be starting school at the same time. Ensure they meet up and play regularly, before they’ve started school. In this way, there will be a friendly face at the school from the moment they start. It’ll help them feel more at home and less alone.
Several weeks before they start school, children should start to synchronise their day with the timings of the new school day. This should include getting up time in the morning and ideally even timings for lunch and suchlike. In this way, children’s body clocks will have adjusted in good time, before they actually start.
Ensuring children have everything they need, at least a little ahead of starting in Reception, is a good approach. Check that you have all items of their uniform, PE kit, any stationery, lunch box if appropriate, backpack or bag and so on. Is everything marked with your child’s name? Usually it should be.
Your child will need to know, ahead of time, who is collecting them. If it’s not you, then they need to know clearly who it will be. They also need to be clear around their general safety rules, stranger danger and so on. Schools should also have safeguarding policies in place for unexpected scenarios. For example, if you are unexpectedly delayed and need to send someone else to collect your child, does the school have a password system in place to ensure that only the right person can collect your child? Find out.
In our last post, we asked 
For those on dairy-based formula milk, it’s pretty much plain sailing too. Because vegetarians — as opposed to vegans — are OK eating dairy-based food, formula milk is generally fine for them. The most popular types are based on cows’ milk, although several other animal milks are also available. So long as dairy-based formula milk is high quality, given in the right quantities, consumed at the right intervals and is age appropriate for the child, it contains all the nutrients and vitamins needed. That’s without the need to give additional supplements too.
Fruit and vegetables are really a given because they pack so much goodness, including many vitamins, minerals like potassium and also fibre. Fresh vegetables and fruit are ideal but, failing that, frozen, tinned and even dried varieties are also OK.
Tofu, also known as bean curd, which is made from soy.
any pulses, seeds or grains should be sprouted, cooked or soaked before consumption (as appropriate);
With families living busy lives these days, it’s not always easy to provide the very best nutritious meals for children. This is compounded by an abundance of ready meals and convenience food available in shops and advertised everywhere. However, healthy, balanced diets are incredibly important for children in their early years. Adopting a healthy diet early on can mean that some diseases associated with later life can be avoided. Healthy food also has other beneficial effects on growing children including sustained energy levels, improved cognitive activity, the evening out of a child’s moods, help with mental wellbeing and maintaining a healthy weight.
Make sure you give the 
Childhood obesity is a growing problem in the UK, with nearly a third of children aged two to fifteen being overweight or obese. What’s more, data shows that children are becoming overweight at ever-earlier ages and are generally eating less fruit, vegetables, oily fish and fibre than is recommended. The lack of a varied diet will leave children lacking in some essential vitamins and minerals. This is all of major concern. Obesity alone can lead to health issues in later life such as diabetes, heart problems, high blood pressure and even cancer. It may also lead to bullying and self-consciousness which may adversely affect a child’s self-esteem and mental wellbeing.
