Tag Archive for: funny quotes

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The Funniest Parenting Quotes This Year

The Funniest Parenting Quotes This Year

Way back in March 2021, we published a popular — and very funny — post entitled Kids Say the Funniest Things! Featuring over 20 quotes from children, it certainly amused us, as well as many of our readers. With five years having passed since then, we thought another post in a similar vein was long overdue. So today, with that in mind, we bring you over 20 of the funniest parenting quotes that we’ve seen on social media this year. Scroll down and get ready to be amused by ‘The Funniest Parenting Quotes This Year’ — kids and parents can be so comical!

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24 Quotes to Amuse Every Parent

24 Parenting Quotes to Amuse Every Parent

As we research and write our blog articles each month, we often stumble upon amusing quotes by parents along the way. So, today we share 24 that made us smile or even laugh out loud. We hope you enjoy them as much as we did. Some resonate in ways that are perhaps not totally ‘PC’ (but that’s what makes them funny), while others are just plain hilarious because they so accurately highlight the challenges parents can face. The Ryan Reynolds quote at the start always brings a smile to our faces but the ‘toddler with a Sharpie’ quote near the end is our outright favourite in this particular collection.

Share these parenting quotes on social media, pin them on Pinterest, bookmark them and/or link to them however you like.

If viewing on a tablet or desktop screen, click any quotation to see it larger, then use the forward/back arrows to scroll through them all at that size …

Being a father is the single greatest feeling on Earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
Being a father is the single greatest feeling on Earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
As parents, we guide by our unspoken example. It is only when we’re talking to them that our kids aren’t listening.
As parents, we guide by our unspoken example. It is only when we’re talking to them that our kids aren’t listening.
Now that I’m a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.
Now that I’m a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.
90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.
My friend asked me recently what the most difficult part of being a parent is ... “Without a shadow of a doubt, it's the kids,” I replied.
My friend asked me recently what the most difficult part of being a parent is ... “Without a shadow of a doubt, it's the kids,” I replied.
Recipe for iced coffee: 1. Have kids. 2. Make coffee. 3. Forget you made coffee. 4. Drink it cold.
Recipe for iced coffee: 1. Have kids. 2. Make coffee. 3. Forget you made coffee. 4. Drink it cold.
Sometimes for fun I wash my daughter’s glittery dresses with my husband’s work shirts just so he can have a lil extra razzle dazzle in his day.
Sometimes for fun I wash my daughter’s glittery dresses with my husband’s work shirts just so he can have a lil extra razzle dazzle in his day.
Parenthood is just one long hostage situation except there’s nobody coming to save you.
Parenthood is just one long hostage situation except there’s nobody coming to save you.
Parenthood is: 60% Feeding, 30% Worrying, 20% Nappy changing, 70% Being so tired you can't even do simple maths any more.
Parenthood is: 60% Feeding, 30% Worrying, 20% Nappy changing, 70% Being so tired you can't even do simple maths any more.
Having a 2-year-old is like owning a blender that you don't have a top for.
Having a 2-year-old is like owning a blender that you don't have a top for.
Sometimes I question my parenting. But in all fairness, I also question my child's childing.
Sometimes I question my parenting. But in all fairness, I also question my child's childing.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Silence is golden. Unless you have toddler — then it's just suspicious.
Silence is golden. Unless you have toddler — then it's just suspicious.
If I ever go missing, please follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide.
If I ever go missing, please follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide.
Momster: What happens to mum after she counts to 3.
Momster: What happens to mum after she counts to 3.
Who knew you could ruin a child's day simply by serving milk in the wrong coloured cup?
Who knew you could ruin a child's day simply by serving milk in the wrong coloured cup?
You know what it's like having a fourth kid? Imagine you are drowning, then someone hands you a baby.
You know what it's like having a fourth kid? Imagine you are drowning, then someone hands you a baby.
Mum 1: “I'm done. I'm selling my kid on eBay.” Mum 2: “Don't be silly; you made him. Sell him on Etsy!”
Mum 1: “I'm done. I'm selling my kid on eBay.” Mum 2: “Don't be silly; you made him. Sell him on Etsy!”
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Nobody learns to parkour faster than a parent chasing a toddler with a Sharpie.
Nobody learns to parkour faster than a parent chasing a toddler with a Sharpie.
Hell hath no fury like a child whose sibling just pushed the elevator button.
Hell hath no fury like a child whose sibling just pushed the elevator button.
If you steal my identity you better believe that it comes with 4 kids.
If you steal my identity you better believe that it comes with 4 kids.
Being a father is the single greatest feeling on Earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
Being a father is the single greatest feeling on Earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
As parents, we guide by our unspoken example. It is only when we’re talking to them that our kids aren’t listening.
As parents, we guide by our unspoken example. It is only when we’re talking to them that our kids aren’t listening.
Now that I’m a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.
Now that I’m a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.
90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.
My friend asked me recently what the most difficult part of being a parent is ... “Without a shadow of a doubt, it's the kids,” I replied.
My friend asked me recently what the most difficult part of being a parent is ... “Without a shadow of a doubt, it's the kids,” I replied.
Recipe for iced coffee: 1. Have kids. 2. Make coffee. 3. Forget you made coffee. 4. Drink it cold.
Recipe for iced coffee: 1. Have kids. 2. Make coffee. 3. Forget you made coffee. 4. Drink it cold.
Sometimes for fun I wash my daughter’s glittery dresses with my husband’s work shirts just so he can have a lil extra razzle dazzle in his day.
Sometimes for fun I wash my daughter’s glittery dresses with my husband’s work shirts just so he can have a lil extra razzle dazzle in his day.
Parenthood is just one long hostage situation except there’s nobody coming to save you.
Parenthood is just one long hostage situation except there’s nobody coming to save you.
Parenthood is: 60% Feeding, 30% Worrying, 20% Nappy changing, 70% Being so tired you can't even do simple maths any more.
Parenthood is: 60% Feeding, 30% Worrying, 20% Nappy changing, 70% Being so tired you can't even do simple maths any more.
Having a 2-year-old is like owning a blender that you don't have a top for.
Having a 2-year-old is like owning a blender that you don't have a top for.
Sometimes I question my parenting. But in all fairness, I also question my child's childing.
Sometimes I question my parenting. But in all fairness, I also question my child's childing.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Silence is golden. Unless you have toddler — then it's just suspicious.
Silence is golden. Unless you have toddler — then it's just suspicious.
If I ever go missing, please follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide.
If I ever go missing, please follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide.
Momster: What happens to mum after she counts to 3.
Momster: What happens to mum after she counts to 3.
Who knew you could ruin a child's day simply by serving milk in the wrong coloured cup?
Who knew you could ruin a child's day simply by serving milk in the wrong coloured cup?
You know what it's like having a fourth kid? Imagine you are drowning, then someone hands you a baby.
You know what it's like having a fourth kid? Imagine you are drowning, then someone hands you a baby.
Mum 1: “I'm done. I'm selling my kid on eBay.” Mum 2: “Don't be silly; you made him. Sell him on Etsy!”
Mum 1: “I'm done. I'm selling my kid on eBay.” Mum 2: “Don't be silly; you made him. Sell him on Etsy!”
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Nobody learns to parkour faster than a parent chasing a toddler with a Sharpie.
Nobody learns to parkour faster than a parent chasing a toddler with a Sharpie.
Hell hath no fury like a child whose sibling just pushed the elevator button.
Hell hath no fury like a child whose sibling just pushed the elevator button.
If you steal my identity you better believe that it comes with 4 kids.
If you steal my identity you better believe that it comes with 4 kids.
Being a father is the single greatest feeling on Earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
Being a father is the single greatest feeling on Earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
As parents, we guide by our unspoken example. It is only when we’re talking to them that our kids aren’t listening.
As parents, we guide by our unspoken example. It is only when we’re talking to them that our kids aren’t listening.
Now that I’m a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.
Now that I’m a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.
90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.
My friend asked me recently what the most difficult part of being a parent is ... “Without a shadow of a doubt, it's the kids,” I replied.
My friend asked me recently what the most difficult part of being a parent is ... “Without a shadow of a doubt, it's the kids,” I replied.
Recipe for iced coffee: 1. Have kids. 2. Make coffee. 3. Forget you made coffee. 4. Drink it cold.
Recipe for iced coffee: 1. Have kids. 2. Make coffee. 3. Forget you made coffee. 4. Drink it cold.
Sometimes for fun I wash my daughter’s glittery dresses with my husband’s work shirts just so he can have a lil extra razzle dazzle in his day.
Sometimes for fun I wash my daughter’s glittery dresses with my husband’s work shirts just so he can have a lil extra razzle dazzle in his day.
Parenthood is just one long hostage situation except there’s nobody coming to save you.
Parenthood is just one long hostage situation except there’s nobody coming to save you.
Parenthood is: 60% Feeding, 30% Worrying, 20% Nappy changing, 70% Being so tired you can't even do simple maths any more.
Parenthood is: 60% Feeding, 30% Worrying, 20% Nappy changing, 70% Being so tired you can't even do simple maths any more.
Having a 2-year-old is like owning a blender that you don't have a top for.
Having a 2-year-old is like owning a blender that you don't have a top for.
Sometimes I question my parenting. But in all fairness, I also question my child's childing.
Sometimes I question my parenting. But in all fairness, I also question my child's childing.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Silence is golden. Unless you have toddler — then it's just suspicious.
Silence is golden. Unless you have toddler — then it's just suspicious.
If I ever go missing, please follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide.
If I ever go missing, please follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide.
Momster: What happens to mum after she counts to 3.
Momster: What happens to mum after she counts to 3.
Who knew you could ruin a child's day simply by serving milk in the wrong coloured cup?
Who knew you could ruin a child's day simply by serving milk in the wrong coloured cup?
You know what it's like having a fourth kid? Imagine you are drowning, then someone hands you a baby.
You know what it's like having a fourth kid? Imagine you are drowning, then someone hands you a baby.
Mum 1: “I'm done. I'm selling my kid on eBay.” Mum 2: “Don't be silly; you made him. Sell him on Etsy!”
Mum 1: “I'm done. I'm selling my kid on eBay.” Mum 2: “Don't be silly; you made him. Sell him on Etsy!”
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Nobody learns to parkour faster than a parent chasing a toddler with a Sharpie.
Nobody learns to parkour faster than a parent chasing a toddler with a Sharpie.
Hell hath no fury like a child whose sibling just pushed the elevator button.
Hell hath no fury like a child whose sibling just pushed the elevator button.
If you steal my identity you better believe that it comes with 4 kids.
If you steal my identity you better believe that it comes with 4 kids.
Being a father is the single greatest feeling on Earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
Being a father is the single greatest feeling on Earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
As parents, we guide by our unspoken example. It is only when we’re talking to them that our kids aren’t listening.
As parents, we guide by our unspoken example. It is only when we’re talking to them that our kids aren’t listening.
Now that I’m a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.
Now that I’m a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.
90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.
My friend asked me recently what the most difficult part of being a parent is ... “Without a shadow of a doubt, it's the kids,” I replied.
My friend asked me recently what the most difficult part of being a parent is ... “Without a shadow of a doubt, it's the kids,” I replied.
Recipe for iced coffee: 1. Have kids. 2. Make coffee. 3. Forget you made coffee. 4. Drink it cold.
Recipe for iced coffee: 1. Have kids. 2. Make coffee. 3. Forget you made coffee. 4. Drink it cold.
Sometimes for fun I wash my daughter’s glittery dresses with my husband’s work shirts just so he can have a lil extra razzle dazzle in his day.
Sometimes for fun I wash my daughter’s glittery dresses with my husband’s work shirts just so he can have a lil extra razzle dazzle in his day.
Parenthood is just one long hostage situation except there’s nobody coming to save you.
Parenthood is just one long hostage situation except there’s nobody coming to save you.
Parenthood is: 60% Feeding, 30% Worrying, 20% Nappy changing, 70% Being so tired you can't even do simple maths any more.
Parenthood is: 60% Feeding, 30% Worrying, 20% Nappy changing, 70% Being so tired you can't even do simple maths any more.
Having a 2-year-old is like owning a blender that you don't have a top for.
Having a 2-year-old is like owning a blender that you don't have a top for.
Sometimes I question my parenting. But in all fairness, I also question my child's childing.
Sometimes I question my parenting. But in all fairness, I also question my child's childing.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Silence is golden. Unless you have toddler — then it's just suspicious.
Silence is golden. Unless you have toddler — then it's just suspicious.
If I ever go missing, please follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide.
If I ever go missing, please follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide.
Momster: What happens to mum after she counts to 3.
Momster: What happens to mum after she counts to 3.
Who knew you could ruin a child's day simply by serving milk in the wrong coloured cup?
Who knew you could ruin a child's day simply by serving milk in the wrong coloured cup?
You know what it's like having a fourth kid? Imagine you are drowning, then someone hands you a baby.
You know what it's like having a fourth kid? Imagine you are drowning, then someone hands you a baby.
Mum 1: “I'm done. I'm selling my kid on eBay.” Mum 2: “Don't be silly; you made him. Sell him on Etsy!”
Mum 1: “I'm done. I'm selling my kid on eBay.” Mum 2: “Don't be silly; you made him. Sell him on Etsy!”
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Nobody learns to parkour faster than a parent chasing a toddler with a Sharpie.
Nobody learns to parkour faster than a parent chasing a toddler with a Sharpie.
Hell hath no fury like a child whose sibling just pushed the elevator button.
Hell hath no fury like a child whose sibling just pushed the elevator button.
If you steal my identity you better believe that it comes with 4 kids.
If you steal my identity you better believe that it comes with 4 kids.

We hope you enjoyed this selection of parenting quotes – we’ll follow up with more at some time in the future if so.

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Are you looking for a good nursery in Streatham, or near to Furzedown, Tooting, Balham, Norbury or Colliers Wood?

Little Cedars is a nursery & pre-school offering high quality childcare in Streatham, near Tooting, Tooting Bec, Tooting Common, Tooting Broadway, Furzedown, Balham, Norbury and Colliers Wood.Ofsted rate Little Cedars Day Nursery as a Good ProviderIf you are looking for a good nursery/pre-school in Streatham, or near Streatham Hill, Streatham Park, Streatham Common or Furzedown, do consider Little Cedars Nursery. It’s incredibly important to choose the best nursery or pre-school for your child and doing so will give them the very best start in life. Ofsted rate Little Cedars as a ‘good’ nursery — in every category. We’re also very conveniently located if you’re looking for good childcare services within easy travelling distance of Tooting, Tooting Bec, Tooting Broadway, Tooting Common, Balham, Norbury or Colliers Wood. Contact Little Cedars Nursery today to get started on a high quality childcare place for your child, or simply book a tour and we’ll be happy to show you around:

Apply for a Place Arrange a Visit or Message Us 020 8677 9675
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Kids Say the Funniest Things!

Kids Say the Funniest Things!

As every parent, carer or teacher knows, children say the funniest things! Particularly when they’re young, they tend to have a knack of being naturally comical. They can make you smile or laugh out loud when you’re least expecting it. With that in mind, here are a few of our favourite things that young children have said … enjoy!

Comical quotes by children

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